To-do lists

The most obvious reason I could give to myself for not having written a word since long could be work.. yes, work's started, finally! But thats been the story for the past 3 weeks... Before that and even now, its about 'to-do' lists, they seem to be a bottomless pit!

Oh yeah, and did I mention my wedding date's fixed? That has compounded the bottomlessness of the pit.. ok, that was a bad one.. I'm dead tired as I write this, Its been an action packed week.. need to catch up on some sleep.. But before that, need to catch up with my own self.. I mean come on, this is not, this is not the way I would want things to move.. Some moments are so precious, I never wanna let them go...

Some moments in the day seem to be becoming a necessity,

Moments where I'm just quiet..

neither retrospecting nor expecting..

Moments when I'm only a child, moments of me n my one and half yr old nephew giggling, dancing, revising rhymes or calling out names..

Moments with nature.. The swirly beaches or the misty mountains...

Moments of reinforcement that wearing the student's hat will carry me through..

Moments of replaying the best memories..

Moments of music..

Moments of appreciating soulful lyrics, soothing voices..

Moments of being one with me :)

Moments where I don't think while I write :)

'To-do' lists are here to stay.... but God... please let these moments be!

The Biggest Truth

Karma.. Is such a powerful word, have read about it, heard about it so much but never quite understood the meaning until recently.. My granny has exemplified it this summer.. While I write this, she is here in this room, oblivious to the fact that her story is being narrated.. To put this in perspective, she is 88 years young, alive n kickin! Was diagnosed with the dreaded disease, but being the brave woman she is, the month of May is history now.. I wondered if this is not Karma then what else it could be, no no.. definitely not medical science alone..
In a lot of my interactions these days, I'm confused between answering back and expressing what I feel is right or leaving it to the power of Karma.. The choice of the latter one is tough but I'm trying, pushing myself to give up some staunch tendencies.. I don't know if this means not being "headstrong".. whatever it may, I think its a much better to lead one's life.. After all how else would my granny have lived such a calm and peaceful life.. I believe everything that you do gets counted in your karma, bad or good, and whatever goes around definitely comes around! I have umpteen examples to cite that but will leave it here..
Yes, its the biggest truth in the world... being true to oneself is all that matters.. for the rest, your Karma will take care!

For You

This is for you,
A ‘you’ who’s like the me I’ve wanted to be

Lets get rid of this clutter, where we bother to care
To care for things only material,
Where joy and greed seem to be a pair...
I was told anything in excess can be dire,
Then why is there so much logic,
Are the demons at some trick?
So much materialism, so much money..
Have started to hate this monotony!

Why is it that I feel such a yearning
All we long for is "a sense of belonging"?
Why is there lies, there is so much stress
You and I, together.. I want to fix this mess
This is not the you I’ve known
Not the one whom time has outgrown

Lets be birds and make a new tale
Come on, don’t you know
Its not 'you', its a new 'me' that I had loved
Yes I have to confess, I need that again
Lets take to the skies and become insane...

Deep down, I know I’ve chosen you
Because I want to be a child all new
Innocent, non-manipulative and fair,
A child who dreams to dare
Unlike the grown ups whose dreams are a show
And then they get caught in not letting go..
Life becomes purpose driven, mind loses sheen,
Why worry so much, lets let go!

Lets craft a world where we are birds,
Where our thoughts don wings...
Where we rise and fall....with equal ease
I know its you....who can make this possible
The material world CAN become feeble…
Beauty, fun and adventure will behold
As the child in me learns to unhold

Then there will be no 'me' who searches for a 'you'
All I would say is I love you…

On a serious note

Ok, finally give in.. have been at this since morning, my mind is juggling between attempting to make a report on “credit rating methodologies” and the temptation of making a new word doc for this post.. After 1 hr of struggle, the latter has won for obvious reasons :)
This one’s on a serious note.. on my inability to be how I used to be.. no, nothing drastic has happened but small lil things which I loved doing somehow don’t get done.. Yesterday I got the final bashing from my best friend and I’ve promised her to come up with why this is happening the next time we meet.. so till then, I have this thought all to myself… May be its plain boredom or laziness that has crept in..I had an action packed February, including some not so welcome things too.. And now I discover March has this lullness to it.. There are lectures to attend, there is a big project pending but somehow, somehow, things just don’t move.. Its getting v monotonous out here!
Have been planning to flood my blog with some blogposts.. Here are some things that could see light, through which I could a get of sense of doing those small lil things which should get done!

1. I have been wanting to write on my longing to my hometown, to feeling the evening breeze in my hair on my two-wheeler, to missing the talks with friends on the entrance gate of my house.. I can just go on and on about how nostalgic I’m getting today.. In Nagpur, I feel careless, I feel free.. .. I could go on and on about how much I owe to this place.. Was born and brought up here.. The culture, the food, the weather, the warmth of friendships, the ease of connectivity (fyi to reach any point in the city, it will take you a maximum of 25 min, thanx to the circular geography!).. I miss it all sooooooooo much.. it is quite sad that it was more than 2 years that I had deprived myself of this home coming..

2. I have been wanting to write on my exaggerated (read blown up) disappointment about the surprise party and a couple of more things which never happened!

3. I have been wanting to write on my fuss over food (its not funny.. I wanted to postpone tying the knot with him for this!)

But I don’t want to write very impulsively about these things because it might lead to auto-suggestion and then I have a fear that these feelings will choose not to leave.. Will leave it at that..

2008.. Promises to keep!

The first week of January becomes by default a week to reflect on time gone by.. time to retrospect.. Its not a conscious effort since so much is written / shown abt the year that was, abt the new year resolutions ppl have made, that u automatically get into a reflective mood.. I’m not the types who makes new year resolutions and then goes on to break them (lose weight is always on the hitlist!), I thought its safer to not make any! Atleast u won’t feel guilty;)

No... I thought to myself- this year is different.. its special.. It’s a year for my career to start and yes also, the last year of being happily single .. So here I go, this blogpost is a reminder to keep these promises.. of things I’m wanting to do.. Not in the long term but precisely in the next 365 days!

I’m promising myself some change..I feel the need to change for the better..
1. First up, I am going to make a conscious effort to look good!
2. I will do crazy things.. like may be go on a blind date ;)
3. I will save majority of what I will earn because I want to be rich, I want to travel abroad, I want to splurge on my vacation after marriage,I want to buy cute things for my new house..
4. And yes I will stay single and shut those relatives up!
All in all, make a good start to my career, be a good daughter, be a doting aunt to my nephew and yeah be a good gal to my guy (except for the blind date bit ;)).. 2008, u make me want to be a better gal :) I'm hoping it's going to be a cakewalk!